All white Brits naturally tend towards the condition of hipster. They do so, however, with a singular mix of denial and self-hatred. They may be brogue-wearing humanities graduates with an exaggerated love of hip-hop, but they do not recognise these hipster traits in themselves.
These, they think, are endearing and idiosyncratic quirks. Instead, white Brits direct their vitriol at anyone whose shoes are slightly pointier than theirs, whose moustache is more ironic, whose jeans are skinnier, or whose knowledge of obscure alternative bands is greater. Areas such as Hackney or Shoreditch are populated entirely by people who hate each other, and, secretly, themselves.
This widespread feeling has caused a great proliferation of hate websites, the humour of which depends on the white Brit being reassured that there are people out there who are slightly more like a hipster than them. White British idols Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris encapsulated this disgust for the hipster in their creation of guerrilla filmmaker, screenwriter, DJ and all-round twat Nathan Barley.
The white British scorn for hipsters is matched only by their abhorrence of “suits”. White Brits therefore inhabit an uncomfortable liminal space between the two extremes, gravitating rather more strongly in the direction of ‘hipster’. Nevertheless, the self-loathing that would be caused by moving towards “the norm” would be far greater. Because of this, white Brits are destined to a future of semi-hipster existence characterised by a subtle but constant feeling of self-revulsion.